Here's to a great 2008!!! I got a new hairdo, new puppy, new navigation system (no more getting lost to bone marrow drives - thx mom & bro) and new stem cells (not from a transplant, just made from my own body). What more could a girl ask for?
There's nothing else that I want, but there are a few things that I'd like to work on personally. I know there are many cancer survivors out there that do complete transformations (for the better) after their treatment is over. Some go on hardcore vegan wheat grass diets and do triathalons while others become more spiritual and give up smoking and swearing. I totally admire people like that because it shows passion, determination, dedication, motivation, etc. Most importantly, it shows that some good can come out of this evil cancer thing. My doctor says a lot of patients are very grateful that they got cancer because it changed their lives. To be honest, I'm on the fence about this for myself.
As for me, I still struggle with the same issues and demons that I had before getting sick. Now that my daily treatment is over and I'm leading a more "normal" life, I realize I am picking up exactly where I left off. I still procrastinate. I still don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I still get moody and catty. I am still frugal and competitive. I still eat ice cream. I still forget to drink my green tea (and other foods rich in antioxidants). And I still forget to wash my face most nights. I'm the same. No better, no worse.
I'm okay with this because I liked who I was before all of this craziness began. I wasn't perfect, but I don't think I was that bad either. The only difference is now (based on real life experience) I know that I can handle some real tough sh*t and I am not a whimp. With that said, I say bring it on 2008!
I am going to approach the new year with the same mindset I have every year... a focus on being a better person.
Yesterday my best friend Mabel said she thought the word "resolution" sounded fickle and temporary. I completely agree. Plus I've never been successful with my new year's resolutions. Perhaps calling them something else will make me more committed. Mabel suggested that we call them "lifestyle changes" instead. Here are mine in no particular order. I figure posting them on projectmichelle will make me feel obligated to try to stick to them.
1. Stress less - Don't worry so much about every little detail.
2. Stop being a control freak - Let go. Ask others for help. Let things happen naturally.
3. Don't beat yourself up - Stop comparing yourself to others. Focus on the positives and remind yourself that you are not a loser.
4. Take a break - Spend at least 15 minutes just breathing.
5. Don't let people get to you - They are not me and I am not them. Put yourself in their shoes - if you still don't understand, just walk away. Also refer to #2 above and accept and love them for who they are.
6. Eat more vegetables and exercise more (once I get my catheter out).
7. Try to be more punctual. Allot more time to getting ready so that you aren't rushing at the last minute.
8. Show (don't just tell) the people you care about that you are appreciate them.
9. Live in the present moment. *This must be done conjunction with #1.
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